#1 2012
It's the new year 2012 and I've decided to revive my blog.
Time flies! It's been 9 1/2 months since I left home and came to Singapore. Whilst it wasn't the easiest choice, it taught and still is teaching me many valuable lessons.
This week after months, God reminded me of His will for my life. I've always loved Europe and will definitely love to settle there but every opening seem to close out on me quickly. The option that I struggle to consider however but know deep down it is where God wants me to be seem to flourish in small but obvious ways.
I start off with going back to studying part time. It'll be tough but I believe that if God has open this door for me, He'll help me through :)
Be back soon..
I've decided to revive this blog.. frequently updates soon
Long overdue rambling
Ok, so I have been quite busy, but there's no excuse for not blogging. How about not having internet access at work?? good enough an excuse.. no? why not?
Since my last post, the 3-day fasting didn't really take place. Honestly, we forgot about it. The subject has to be closed for a while till I get some kind of indication about leaving. I mean why would I want to leave anyway? Friends and family aplenty here.
Anyhow, the busy period has ended and I am back to chocolate eating and learning as many processes there are at work. Pretty interesting for the last two weeks or so. We are going through the audit process now in the office and it's cool. There's this one cute auditor from Australia who has caught many of our eyes. :) I wished he could stay a tad longer. He's just so nice :)
Other than work, my cousins are back for a holiday and it's nice having them around. We had so many activities, I am tired out almost every night. It seems strange to be tired out so fast. I could have gone straight without sleep for days last time. hehehe.. (like 5 yrs ago)
The main highlight of today's ramblings are.. *drum rolls..* GRADUATION! yes yes, technically I have graduated but on the 23rd of Aug is the official ceremony where I will walk gracefully with my head held high on my 3 inch heel and receive a scroll by a person I've never met. How Exciting!!!! All are invited to come and share this moment with me but not for the ceremony sadly. There isn't enough space in the authentic hall of KDU.
Also, I am so glad I will be having a new baby cousin soon... I hope for a Dutch-Chinese girl please. Nevertheless, I miss Jan the cheeky boy so much. Here's a picture of him:
Past, Present and possibly Future?
I’m sitting here in a partial dark room looking at pictures I took in Europe. Seeing each expression and action, I realized how young, energetic, adventurous and brave I was. How I loved those times of being lost, missing trains, chasing buses and getting frustrated in conversations I didn’t understand. I miss that side of me today more than others.
My mum asked me what were my thoughts the other day and the word TRANSITORY came out of nowhere. She asked me why but I couldn’t explain. I really feel like I am in a transit awaiting the next adventure. On the one side, I am excited as ever while the other says ‘Wo, hold your horses’. Being in a state of figuring out what’s the right path to take is exhilarating yet scary. God will deal with me on this. I just know He would.
Shared a moment of laughter with Dad the other day and it’s been a long time since we sat together and simply teased each other. Never knew I was so consumed in the pains and pleasures of growing up I have somewhat neglected time with Dad. It was refreshing to share that moment. I love him more than I can express (teary)
Anyway, back to the moment, Dad reckons we should move to Australia while I vote for The Netherlands and we trashed out the many benefits of each country given our personal experiences. While I enjoyed my holiday in Australia, it didn’t have the long-lasting emotions I had in The Netherlands. Then again, Dad reckons I’ll be bored with milks, cows and cheese soon enough. So, his present understanding of his little girl believes Australia is the best place for her. I should really pray about it. We made a father-daughter pack that we would fast for 3 days and see what God says. I’ll make sure I whisper ‘the Netherlands..’ to him while he’s asleep. Hehe..
I should really start fasting and swim more. Fun lunches and birthday celebrations at the office are really bringing harm to my tummy. In a span of two weeks, I’ve had four chocolate cakes *yummy*
While I continue to enjoy the cakes, stay tuned for updates.
Mel - Out
The many I thought...
I thought that..
Life is easier now than then,
One lesson is enough,
Trust is possible,
Changes are good,
Friendships are true,
Feelings don't last,
Time heals all wounds,
Listening protects ones self,
Determination overcomes challenges,
Being true to others is the way to go....
BUT
Life is complicated now more than ever,
One lesson is never enough,
Trust is a vague concept,
Changes takes you nowhere,
True friendships are questionable,
Feelings last longer than expected,
Wounds from the past comes around,
Listening creates vulnerability,
Determination only minimizes dissapointments,
Being true to others,
Allows confusion and hurt...
Yes, I am fairly emotional now. I don't expect to be without emotions BUT I dislike the way I feel now. It's way beyond my expectations. I'm not sure how much I can take at this moment. Lord help me.
The ups and downs
Every morning I wake up and think, 'how can today be different from yesterday?' Then excitedly I jump up from my bed and head to wash up and dress up for work. For the first few weeks at work I was just waiting for time to pass without much agenda. That was up until last week when I finally had some challenging tasks to do. I seriously never doubted my capabilities as much as last week. But with a great God, at the end of each day I take a smile home with me no matter how tired I am.
Many ask me 'how's work? are you enjoying yourself these days?' I can only tell them that work is only a mean to earn a living. Enjoying myself, I do given the open and friendly culture in the office yet humans like myself can never be satisfied. I gave two other jobs to be at this place because I believed in the management yet when offers pour in, I find myself shaken. Why? I have no idea. Perhaps fresh grads are suppose to aim for money in their first job. hmmm...
As for my love life, nothing much have been happening. I am waiting for the Lord to send me the best guy He has for me. Hopefully soon.. given my girlfriends getting attached others married can create some peer pressure. hehehe..
Life with God is amazing and going on strong. Lots I want to do this year I am just praying that I can sustain the commitment I am going to make. Seriously, I don't want to compromise no more.
Nothing much to updated because I don't want to bore you with office stuff. On the hand, final exam results are out but the marks have not been finalized. I believe that I can get first class honors. :P
Till then, will write again soon I hope after the month-end acct period. Oh and I am thinking of holidays already and I have only worked for a month? :)
The Last Lap
Finally, the last lap.... I can't wait to graduate!! *jumps up and down*. For all the joy and pains I went through, I am glad I survived victoriously. :)
One good news, I got my results for last semester. I must say I did pretty well. All praise to God! Seriously, it was all God and not me. If I were to rate my performance, I would say terrible. Nevertheless, God never forsakes us. Seek first His kingdom.. that's what I do!
Melissa is a very happy girl today thanks to her Lord. Without Him, nothing can be achieved.
On a separate note, someone asked if I had the brain of a robot. All I had to say was, it was all provided for by my God. I must say it felt good to declare Jesus to my uni mates for the first time. I believe God will open more doors.
:) :) :)
